A Birthday To Remember....

August 12th....What a wonderful date to celebrate! It is the birth date of my youngest child...Brenna Gail.

Her birth is quite the story and filled with miracles! After delivering her sister at 33 weeks via emergency c-section...I was bound and determined to experience REAL birth. Little did I know how CRAZY I was to even think that way!

I developed gestational diabetes during my third trimester and was being monitored several times weekly. The Drs were looking for any sign that the baby might be in distess...however...during a visit in my 38th week I discovered I had been in labor most of the previous night and that morning! Wow...talk about feeling d-u-m-b! Boy..did I!!

After all...this was my 2nd child...right? The nurse just laughed at me and of course I had to laugh at my own ignorance as well! I remember thinking.."hmmm...if this is all there's going to be to this birth...bring-it-on"! ( I know...your laughing hysterically....I would be too!)

Sure enough, two days later on the 12th of August I was induced for labor. It was a long, long, long. labor. I was exhausted. I'm sure Mike was too. He was also worried about me. Following the emergency surgery that brought our first daughter into the world, I experienced a lot of problems. Infection and lots of pain forced us to be nurses-at-home and I can only sing the praises of my husband...He has hands of steel!!! He had to "pack" incisions three times a day for almost 6 weeks! It was disgusting...but he faced it like a champ! Thanks to his loving care...I healed much faster than the Dr originally forecast I would!

So back to this inevitable birth...I was positive that I could handle this birth.

No drugs.

No epidural.

No problem. Right?

WRONG - NO COMMON SENSE was more like it!

I did actually dilate to five centimeters before my husband and the Dr convinced (begged) me take the epidural for the pain. I was progressing very slowly and the Dr thought maybe if I relaxed, I would dilate a little more steadily...WRONG again...it stopped my contractions cold!

The bright side was that I was LOVING the instant loss of pain that accompanied the drugs! Whew! Praise God for the man who alleviated labor pain!! Also, my loving husband was able to keep all his fingers despite my repeated attempts to yank them from his hands!

Finally the call to push came...I was excited, exhausted, and scared-to-death! I was totally out of my league - but I was certain that I WOULD NOT repeat surgery with this child! So let the tug 'o war begin!

I'm pretty sure Mike said I pushed for around an hour before it happened. We couldn't have seen it coming...but later we found out that the Dr had been preparing just in case it did...

During one of my pushes I felt a sharp, quick, burning sensation on my left side just under my rib cage. It was so intense that not only could I not breathe...I also couldn't push anymore. If I tried to push that pain would over take me.

I was devastated to say the least. Instant failure flooded every inch of my being. Once again I would be unable to do this like a NORMAL woman. I could not control the streams of tears that began rolling down my cheeks.

The Dr began to offer me scenarios of "What Ifs"...but I knew...she was ultimately suggesting that I have surgery to deliver my child. For my safety and the safety of my child. Her reasoning was this: Due to the fact that I had a previous c-section, I was in danger of rupturing my uterus and consequently bleeding out before they were able to get me to an operating room to save the baby or me. It was "our" choice, but she was very nicely stating her opinion!

At that point I was sobbing. Mike asked for a moment alone with me to discuss our choices. As the room cleared...he leaned over me and began to pray. "Dear Lord, we know that all things are in your hands. You gave us this child and we trust you now to deliver this child safely. Comfort my wife and cushion her heart for whatever your will may be. Give us direction and peace in this decision."

As soon as he laid his hands on my face and began to pray...peace washed over me...warm...comforting...peace. I knew my destiny would be another surgery. I was prepared.

I looked deep into his loving eyes and nodded yes! He quickly got the Dr and relayed our decision. The Dr was elated to say the least. Turns out she had been monitoring me for almost 8 hours for fear of this very thing.

In a matter of seconds everything was prepared and I was being rolled to the nearest operating room for delivery! It was a sweetly sad moment for me. I was delighted to finally have this new baby, but I was still reeling from disappointment in my own performance!

As the Dr rallied to get things moving along quickly...Mike entered the room with sheer excitement on his face...he loves a good view of surgery! (sick..huh?!)

From this point a lot of what happened to me I can't recall. Sometime during one of the Dr's incisions, my uterus in fact ruptured and I began to bleed uncontrollably. Fortunately they were able to deliver my daughter before she choked in the womb and possibly died. With our daughter born and safe...their attention turned to me.

All I can really recall about the event is hearing Brenna's first cries and my handsome husband leaning into my face telling me "good job" and that he loved me as he left the room! In my haziness, I couldn't understand where he was going. Then the Dr appeared and her lips began moving...but I couldn't make out what she was saying..something about putting me under...and then....nothing!

When I finally awoke, I was in a recovery room. My husband and my sister were there to greet me! It was over! Praise God! They made arrangements to take me by the NICU (Neonatal Unit) to see my daughter. Due to the trauma and the gestational diabetes, they wanted to monitor her overnight!

It was love at fist sight! She was perfect in my eyes! There were no words to express it...and the rest...was already forgotten! Holding her was another great moment in my life...

Until....about six weeks later...